Two people, two countries; one ocean and 5000 miles cannot sink true love. A fifty something academic recovering from cancer and depression develops a passion for narrow boats and English canals. Her search for information leads her to an English water gypsy; a laid back widower, he lives on his narrow boat and continuously cruises 2000 miles of English waterways. This is a story of true love that will melt your heart and your socks!
"You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind." ~Anonymous
August arrived with a hot breath and cloudless skies. Morning temperatures hovered at sixty two degrees by six a.m. and 87-98 degrees Fahrenheit by noon--day after relentlessly baking day.
89 degrees on top of Steptoe Butte
Occasionally an evening of cloud cover resulted in dry lightening and a bare sprinkle of rain that lasted for a minute--no more --with none of the cool, clean effects of a real rain storm. Mother Nature was a tease. Living for thirty two years in Alaska--where darkness holds sway for much of the year--I didn't realize one could grow tired of sunshine until I moved to Eastern Washington State. I personally feel that temperatures over seventy two degrees are redundant and unnecessary. Les feels hemmed in by the heat--trapped and unable to leave the house. We both want to go home to England where I look forward to the possibility of wearing a sweater in the summer! Due to the prolonged spring rains which drowned the region from March through the first week in June, the Palouse is still awash in wildflowers and greenery as the wheat fades from green to amber. The Palouse put on its best summer dress this season for Dear Sir. If that weren't enough, the local wildlife is keen to catch site of the exotic new species in town: the elusive English boatman--English Navis Ver. I've lived in Pullman for eleven years and Dear Sir has seen more wildlife in three months than I've seen my entire tenure here!
Dear Sir on the back deck
Coyotes pass through the wheat near the back deck, eyeing him keenly and gather in the tall wheat grass at night to howl; a horned owl resting atop the house surprised Les one afternoon, swooping silently just overhead--it's five foot wingspan casting a shadow over my husband that made him cringe in amazement. Landing just across the fence in the wheat field, it proceeded to eat its lunch while Les watched. Deer cluster in the fields to take a gander at the shy British water gypsy driving our car. Once spotted, he slows down to watch them--and they leap across the road in front of us. A Martin (cousin of the mink, Ermine, Weasel, badger and wolverine) worked its way out of the adjacent field one afternoon and plopped into the seasonal watercourse behind our deck, taking no notice whatsoever of Dear Sir. The red roses Les gave me weeks ago stood in the sitting room window attracting hummingbirds. They whizzed up and hovered just outside attempting to figure out how to get to those gorgeous flowers. My yard has always been a haven for dragonflies--nine spotted skimmers, electric blue damselflies, red darters--they hatch out of the seasonal stream just the other side of my deck and patrol the yard for insects, gracing us with their aerial acrobatics, landing on anything that sits still for ten seconds including me. Lady bugs by the thousands peep through the leaves all over the yard, seeking out aphids. Praying Mantis' hang on the screen door awaiting an unsuspecting meal. After the garden has been watered, we sit under the Lilac tree in Adirondack chairs watching American Robins (fat thugs in size compared to their delicate English cousins) pull earthworms from the soil like fat strands of spaghetti. Dusk falls after the most spectacular sunsets and moon rises. The wild geese fly low and slow over the back deck, ruffling my hair with their wing beats, "Fwhoop-Fwhoop-Fwhoop." Darkness unveils an arm of the Milky Way strung with stars twinkling like holiday lights across the Northern skies. Les and I stand shoulder to shoulder, leaning on the back deck railing listening to the geese settle into the nearby lagoon for the night, muttering at each other in low quacks and nasal tones. We are taken by the peace and quiet of the darkness. Packing and clearing out commenced with the house growing emptier as each week passed. I am up to 22 boxes of "stuff" which was sent over to England via Mayflower Movers! Where we will put it all Goddess only knows. We had several offers for my house and each one fell through. The housing market in America is flat. Sadly I am walking away from my equity and turning it back to the sisters who held the note for me. They will do with it as they choose. It was a lovely home for me to live in while battling cancer and regaining my health; it was a wonderful home for entertaining friends and family; it was a great place to begin my life in earnest as a writer. My favorite oldest daughter came home one last time for breakfast at the family table with her husband Ben, and the three boys--Michael, Matthew, and baby Connor. We tucked into a ham and leek frittata, toast with blackberry jam, orange juice, tea, and yogurt with cantaloupe and fresh blueberries. My funny, wonderful husband took the tinfoil (aluminium) from a dish, turned it into a hat and put it on his head, laughing with the boys. Michael said sweetly under his breath, "He's one of the good grandpas," and turned his blue eyes to look at me, full of smiles and wonder. We loaded up the cooler with homemade friend chicken, potato salad, melon chunks, radishes, crispy strips of red, yellow and green bell peppers, raw cauliflower and broccoli florets, peeled rounds of cucumber, Ranch dip, soda pop, juice packs, bags of beef jerky and headed out to Laird Park for a day of swimming at the park. The Civilian Conservation Corps dammed the Palouse River in 1933 to create a small lagoon amongst the giant pines of the Clearwater National Forest. The boys brought their Aquablasters we gave them for their birthdays and we waded into the mountain cold water of the river. A sandy beach spread out between our toes while baby fish darted in the shallows. Michael caught brown trout fingerlings in his cupped hands and Les had at least as much fun with the Aquablasters as my grandsons! We splashed, swam, and dried out in the hot sun. Chairs set up in the shade of a nearby trees allowed us to lounge as we grazed from the cooler throughout the day, keeping an eye on the boys as they came up to towel off, warm up, and refuel before answering the siren call of the water once more. A hike over the dam took us into the cool, green quiet of the forest over a mile and a half of trail, across the river and back around to the swimming hole, passing many medicinal herbs in full bloom late in the season. We finally loaded up our rigs and headed home in the slanted rays of early evening sun. While I showered the sand off, the men loaded my sectional sofa--the comfy, overstuffed couch that eats your ass--into the back of the flatbed truck. Tucked alongside was my dining room table and chairs, and other bits Jesse decided she needed. Ben and the boys went though my DVD collection and took what they wanted. While Ben, Jesse, and Les tied down the load I fed the boys home made bread with butter. Michael held his baby brother in his arms. Connor bannahner as we call him, is a very serious little fella.
His gaze catches my eye briefly before he looks away beyond my shoulder or off in the distance at something else. He smiles but seldom ever bursts out into laughter--even when someone is chewing on his feet like miniature corn on the cob. Connor will wriggle and giggle, but never burst into belly laughter; he will babble occasonally but he seldom ever smiles at me although he is enchanted by Dear Sir, and will grin over anything Les does. I asked Mikey Boy to give Connor a bit of the soft part of his bread with a wee bit of butter on it. Connor tentatively chewed as he looked beyond us, out the window at the fields. Swallowing, Connor turned his head, looked me squarely and intently in the eyes and said, "I like that." Michael's eyes grew wide. He gaped at me and I stared back in amazement. "Did you hear that Mim?? Connor said, 'I like that!!'" "I Heard it! Plain as day,"'I like that.'" Wow! Of course no one else was around to witness the moment and when we excitedly reported what Connor said, everyone poo-poohed us. Still, Mikey Boy and I know what we heard and we know Connor can speak in small sentences at eight months old--when he wants to!
The chairs under the Lilac tree
Soon my beloveds gathered into their rig and headed for Fairfield. Les and I sat in the chairs under the Lilac tree holding hands and waving goodbye. Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes and splashed down my cheeks as my chest heaved with sobs. I thought I would grow old and die alone in Cloudhouse; I thought my grandsons would always come to stay with me here and we would bake round, brown loaves of bread together, and pans of macaroni and cheese; visit the Moscow Farmer's Market, walk down and see the neighbor's cows and goats, lay in the dark on my down comforter spread across the grassy yard watching for meteors and satellites; I thought we would make snow ice cream, watch movies, eat poached eggs on toast and drink cups of tea, and feed the ducks at Sunnyside Park while their childhoods passed. As I watched their truck kick up dust on the lane I realized it was the end of a life I thought I would lead in favor of another life somewhere else--with someone else.
“May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you have to steal, then steal away my sorrows. If you have to lie, then lie with me all the nights of our life. If you have to cheat, then cheat death because I don’t want to live a day without you”. ~ wedding toast
Delivery times:
Within the USA: Next business day
Outside the USA: 2-5 days
Your passport will be dispatched from the New York office and will be delivered by UPS 1Z5W21R62491856007
This is an automated reply - please do not respond I jumped out of my office chair shrieking. One of my colleagues came in and said, "I bet I know what this is about. Your visa came through didn't it?" He put his arms around me and clutched me to his chest as I sobbed. I couldn't believe it! Less than twenty four hours after receiving the visa binders, my visa was issued and scheduled to arrive the next morning via UPS airmail!! All those long months of worrying, preparing, and stressing were over. Word traveled quickly through Van Doren Hall. Folks hugged me tightly and congratulated me. Cheri Curtis and I held each other on the stairwell and cried together. My relief was was utter and overwhelming. Cheri (aka Little Bear, or 'Bear') took me to lunch at Swill's to celebrate. I tried calling Les at home but there was no answer. Of all the days to be out toodling around town!! Les came at 4 p.m. to pick me up, sauntering into my office with a grin, bussing me lightly on the lips. "Hi handsome--guess what--my visa was approved!!!" Pulling me close and tight, Les kissed me until I felt the floor sway beneath my feet. "See--I told you it would come. I just had this feeling Jaq--I knew it would come through this week. I mean if you are an agent who looks at a dozen of these files a week and one arrives on your desk organized with tabbed binders like yours, and everyone else has stuffed documents into an envelope, which one are you going to look at first? You are going to sort out the organized one right away because most of the work has already been done." We drove home in the hot July afternoon with the air-con crisping the interior of the car into a bearable coolness, holding hands over the console, grinning like crazies. After changing out of my work clothes Dear Sir and I spent the evening cooking a lovely meal and celebrating quietly--just the two of us. We began the second round of wedding celebrations with a drive to Spokane for dinner with the Rise Up Women, as the Wednesday Women also call themselves, in honor of how we met. Due to the date change from July 9th to July 23rd for our reception, none of my sisters could make the party--so they decided to host a dinner for us. It was a stifling hot afternoon; the late rays of sun turned to amber spilling through holes in the white clouds--harbingers of possible dry lightening later in the evening. As I pulled up in front of Kialynn's house I thought--for just a moment--I saw a man disappear into her door! Knowing the Wednesday Women and their strict rules against male attendance, I figured I was hallucinating under heat stress. Dear Sir and I strolled hand in hand up the walk and rang the bell. Rhea Giffin threw open the door backed up by the other Wednesday Women--and their men! We stepped inside fielding kisses, hugs, and handshakes from all directions as drinks were placed in our hands. Dear Sir settled onto the raised hearth in the living room to chat while I loaded our web sites onto Kialynn's twenty seven inch IMAC computer so we could share wedding pictures and videos of NB Valerie. The men soon fell under Les' spell as he answered questions about living on board a narrow boat. I gathered the women in the kitchen and showed them my new tattoo. The air filled with one of my favorite sounds: women's voices, rising and falling on a tide of laughter. Joy crackled in the air as we sipped wine and viewed wedding photos, pics of England and NB Valerie; Les fielded questions about the canals. Kialynn announced dinner was ready and we took our seats at an exquisitely set table--candles flickered softly, silverware glinted in the evening light, the tablecloth and napkins shined brightly. Platters of Copper River Salmon baked on a bed of onions, tossed salad, fresh baked warm bread, corn on the cob, and broccoli made their way around the assembled diners. Much chatting ensued as we talked about our recent experiences. Dear Sir and I were toasted and wished much love and happiness. My heart sang as I looked around the table at each woman--my soul sisters with their partners in attendance. These men were special because they chose to love real, smart, funny, opinionated, talented women; active in heart, mind and community spirit. The Wednesday Women are larger than life--and the men who love them lead interesting lives blessed with love. For Les and me they wove an evening of acceptance, good cheer, warmth, respect, and camaraderie. Gifts and cards appeared with coffee and dessert. I finally had a treasured piece of Rhea's papier mache "It's two birds on the word 'AND,' because I think it's one of the most important words in a relationship. The word 'and' includes both people in a situation. I made it small and light with many layers of Shellac so it will fit on your boat and you can hang it on the wall." A lovely card enclosed several hundred dollars for tickets to a London theatrical production of our choice. Les has never been to a live play so we will be planning our London season later this fall when we head south for the colder weather. (I want to visit Bosworth field--but not before Les and I can see a production of Richard III.)
The note inside said: Blessings to you Jaq and Les-- May your hull never chink, May your rudder never blink, And your spirits never sink.
May the sun rise before you And the moon be your steady companion As you travel the canals On your journey together.
Glimpse a bit of the Rise Up Women When the moonlight strikes the water And twinkles a reflection ...we'll be thinking of you! Love, the Rise Up Women
Did you know a poem written to honor a bride and groom on their wedding day in celebration of their marriage is called an epithalamium? Using an acrostic device, Lisa Conger wrote one for me and Les:
A WEDDING POEM
Beautiful, she is. Good and loving, Radiant and Rich in hope, and In bloom with love. Optimistic on this special Devoted, and incandescent, she steps to the Occasion--determined to Edge of heaven in her bliss. Make meaningful music with this marriage. We drove home under a sunset streaked canopy studded with stars. We were filled with love, laughter, good food and most importantly--the joy of true friendship. Our lives overflowed with goodwill. Everyone wanted to spend time with me and Les because of the genuineness of our love and joy in each other, as well as our notable love story. We visited friends Larry and Lael Turnbow on their family ranch where Larry crafts beautiful handmade custom cabinets and wood furniture in his shop and Lael telecommutes to WSU to work on University projects. Their home reflects the love of family over three generations. The ranch consists of 240 acres of beautiful Idaho country--fields, springs, pasture, creeks and deep pine forest inherited from Larry's grandfather. We joined them for breakfast one Saturday morning, feasting on fresh fruits, berries, and Lael's legendary homemade rolls. The day passed too quickly as we toured the ranch, heard stories about family, and shared Waterways World magazines. Les regaled Larry and Lael with canal and boat stories as we sipped Russian Coffee and enjoyed their company.
We were wined and dined by Jerry and Cheri Curtis who treated us to a fine dinner at the golf course with its unparalleled views of Moscow Mountain. We followed dinner with a lovely early evening walk through the moonlit University of Idaho Arboretum--two couples strolling hand in had in the gathering dusk--romantic indeed. Saturday, July 23rd dawned beautiful and bright--a cloudless morning glory blue sky stretched as far as the eye could see. After a favorite breakfast of poached eggs on my husband's freshly baked bread, fried potatoes, ham, and coffee we drove into town and picked up the reception wine--a half case of The Chook, Sparkling Shiraz--and a half case of Le Perlina Moscato d'Asti sparkling white wine. A quick stop by Dissmores yielded our wedding reception cake--which Dear Sir knew nothing about. Two stacked rounds of freshly baked carrot cake frosted with Cream Cheese icing--Les' favorite--were topped by the small wooden narrow boat he gave me when he came to visit the very first time. "I found a way to get a narrow boat past customs," said Dear Sir as he pulled the lovely replica from his bag and handed it shyly to me last October. He had no idea where it would lead! Brad the Baker went above and beyond, making our cake from scratch instead of using a mix. He grated fresh carrots from the store's produce section and the baking staff had a great time decorating it. My instructions were simple: blue beading to match the narrow boat topper and no flowers, but otherwise, have fun and enjoy yourselves. Our cake was the talk of the store for days and Les was touched by the narrow boat floating on a canal of blue icing flowing across the top. Soon enough my favorite oldest daughter appeared with husband and sons in tow and we headed out for Chrisi and Keith Kincaid's farm for our party.
The yard looked gorgeous and Chrisi, Keith, Jerry, and Cheri were all working to get things set up. The round tables sat waiting with an air of expectancy, their crisp white cloths glowing in the early evening shade.
Keith Kincaid at the oven
The outdoor pizza oven was red hot and Keith was getting it set to begin cooking pizzas; his wife Chrisi had lovingly made dough from scratch that morning--for forty five guests! Cheri and Jerry filled galvanized buckets with ice and chopped pizza toppings. Soon folks arrived dipping into buckets of iced beer and soda to quench their thirst. The buffet table groaned with delicious foods brought by our guests. Music filled the air--and laughter; happy greetings and party chat hummed all around us as our friends dished plates and settled down on chairs around the tables, across the lawn and around the yard. We set up Les' computer with videos of NB Valerie and his canal travels. People gathered in knots around the computer to watch. Excited talk about travel to Europe followed.
Children did cartwheels in the grass and walked along the stone garden walls as Jerry and Little Bear made the rounds repeatedly, wooden peels in hand, offering up slices of heavenly pizzas fresh from the oven. I introduced Dear Sir to new friends while welcoming those he already knew. Soon enough two hours had passed and it was time to open the wine--which my husband deftly managed, cork after popping cork. Chrisi and I cut the wedding cake into tall chunks and me and Les passed out pieces of the moist, frosted confection to every guest, stopping to visit.
I felt like a honey drunk bee, visiting blossom after delicious nectar-filled blossom only we were sipping the nectar of friendship in the garden of our friends. Les and I were touched by the grace and depth of their affection for us. We had so much to celebrate--our love for one another, our marriage, my visa--the sheer simple, amazing story of how Dear Sir and I found each other from across an ocean. Toasts were made as Ella Fitzgerald's voice filled the air. Les and I danced in one another's arms while all around us friends stood and watched; love's delight stole across face after face...
"At last, my love has come along; my lonely days are over, and life is like a song..." There is nothing quite like being held in the bosom of family and friendship, surrounded by the ones we love at such a moment. Eventually the sun cast long shadows across the grass. Folks hugged the two of us close, wished us well, and walked off hand in hand to their cars for the ride home. As dusk settled down to keep us company, a core group huddled around one table: me and Les, Chrisi and Keith Kincaid, Cheri and Jerry Curtis, Christina Vala and her sweetheart Cliff Haight, and Gloria and David Tong. We poured more wine and we toasted, told tales, and laughed into the late evening. A damn good time was had by all and we will wrap cherished memories of our wedding reception close 'round our hearts and bring them home with us to England.
Cliff & Christina
The next morning me and Les met Christina and Cliff at the Old European for a late breakfast. Cliff regaled us with his method for manufacturing his own diesel gasoline from leftover restaurant oil and we laughed with glee at Christina's descriptions of Cliff in his mad scientist mode--his lovely, sweet, innocent blue eyes twinkling in reply. Cliff actually is a chemist by trade with a small boy's delight in making his own concoctions in their back yard! Christina is my heart's sister too. We attended graduate classes at WSU in Marxist Theory and shared good meals and movies over the years as she worked on her Master's degree. Christina did me the immense kindness of looking after my house and keeping company with Sianna--Peeking Puss le Fuzzy Butt--whenever I had to travel for work. The two of them had a deep bond and Puss would actually begin purring whenever I mentioned Christina, her tail up like a pleasure flag for whatever adventures in lap cuddling and movie time might be in the works. It made it easier for me to travel for work knowing that two of my best beloved were hanging together, making tea and poached eggs, keeping the home fires burning until I returned. After sending our friends off with hugs and good-byes, Les and I returned home to veg out. Relaxed, happy, and tired from the night before, we napped in the late afternoon heat. Sunlight filled our bedroom, making the Phlox blue walls shine. The white sheets were crisp and cool as we lay together, our summer tanned skin a contrast of tumbled limbs and love. "Chrisi and I had a brief chat about you last night." Dear Sir's English accent caressed my ears. His brown-green eyes sparkled as they swept over me. "Mmm?" I was too drowsy to speak. "I told Chrisi I know now why you have very fine friends--every one of them. It is because of who you are." Leaning on one elbow and looking deep into my husband's sun and laughter creased face, I drawled, "What do you mean, 'who I am?'" I am just myself--it is the only person I can be." I looked at Les quizzically. "Exactly. Jaq you are a lovely person; a warm, beautiful woman. Chrisi and I agree you attract all those fine people to you because of who you are. You are such a good person. You're loving and generous. Your heart is filled with laughter. Being with you is pure joy. It really is." Les bent his head and kissed me long and slow. "Well darlin', Chrisi and I had a chat about you too!" It was Dear Sir's turn to lean in on one elbow, as I laid back on my pillow, smiling wickedly. "She said you are 'a good, good, kind, sweet man and exactly the love I deserve.'" Dessert followed: a sumptuous counterpart to our nap, we feasted on slow, sweet kisses and afternoon delight.
"Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go." ~James Baldwin
After months of locating and compiling documents; sifting, sorting, copying, collating; multiple runs to Office Depot for printer cartridges, reams of paper, file tabs, three ring binders and untold hours parsing the Ex-Pat Forum online for hints and advice I finally had my visa binders put together.
In all they weighed ten pounds and were organized according to the the list of questions on the Spouse visa application form, with a total of 400 pages of paper copies not including original legal documents, wedding, engagement and other personal letters, and photographs. After reading, reviewing, and re-reading all the seemingly arbitrary instructions and writing them down step by step in a diary to be sure I understood what was required, we spent three hours into the late evening of July 11th filling out the online VAF4-A British spouse settlement visa application. Without Dear Sir I would have F*&%ed it up entirely. Being dyslexic I found myself frequently confused by the British style of using four words to suggest what an American will state succinctly with a one or two word phrase. It seemed to me the UK Border Agency suggested one thing but actually meant something else. Once done parsing the seventeen online pages, we paid the eleven hundred and forty nine dollar fee and printed out the eleven pages of application which provided a receipt for funds paid, a special black bar code and a GWF reference number--all essential components to move forward in this bizarre paper chase. I wept in relief when we finished. Our next step required me to go online and book an appointment for biometrics with the nearest U.S. customs office in Spokane, Washington, and go to he U.S. Post Office for two passport quality photos taken without my eyeglasses, or any living expression on my face. Unlike the United States--which wants it citizenry to appear happy to be American by allowing us to smile for passport pictures--the UK wants solemnity bordering on criminality as the passport mug shot. As a result my visa picture looks like the zombie bride. On Monday June 18th, we drove one hundred and seventy miles round trip from Pullman to Spokane and back in 93 degree weather for an appointment that took literally ten minutes.
Foley U.S. Federal Courthouse-Spokane, WA
Inside the Federal courthouse in the office of U.S. Customs and Homeland Security I was fingerprinted and photographed receiving that priceless red ink stamp on my biometrics appointment confirmation printout which must be included in the visa application packet. Dear Sir and I rose at five thirty am on Tuesday July 19, 2011 and went online to the WorldBridge site to pay the additional $300 dollars priority expedite fee.
Instructions required us to send the application the same day. We printed out that receipt with its special reference number, gathered the notebooks, and drove to FEDEX in Pullman at 7:30 a.m. to ship my visa application notebooks to New York, next day delivery. Following the directions of the UK Border Agency we placed a copy of the priority expedite fee receipt on top of Notebook #1 (and just to be on the safe side I put a copy inside the cover of notebook #2). The clerk packed it carefully all the while trying to prepare us for the cost of shipping ten pounds of paper and binders overnight 3000 miles to the other coast of the continent. "It doesn't matter; it doesn't matter how much it costs--these have got to go out today and arrive tomorrow before the close of business." Scooping up a black marker, Les wrote "priority expedite" and our receipt reference number in large black letters and numbers on the outside of the package per instructions from WorldBridge and we left one hundred and thirty six dollars poorer. Once again I burst into tears. I toiled away the previous four months to reach this moment when we let all our hard work go and trusted FEDEX to deliver it on time to the British consulate clearing officer who might recognize the veracity of our case. Les just believed it would go through. He saw no reason I would be denied a visa. I could think of several different reasons why the British consulate might deny me starting with the fact that, at age fifty three I am unlikely to ever contribute significantly to the GDP of England, and yet as Les' wife I am entitled to benefits for which I have never paid a dime. That simply does not happen in the Unites States of America. I experience the privelege of having $130.00 a month deducted from my paycheck to ensure Dear Sir has health insurance here in this country--with a $500.00 deductible that must be met first. We have our constitutional rights provided to us by the Bill of Rights--the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution which offer American citizens protection by limiting the powers of the federal government; and the freedom to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps--if we start out in life with bootstraps or find the means to save for a pair. Our rights are being steadily eroded by the power of corporations, from whom we have no protection at all, and justice in America these days most often goes to those with means to afford it--just like health care. I have the right to work over six months of the year to pay 34% in taxes to a government who turns around and tells me I still have not paid enough--I owe yet more money and if I marry my tax bill will be even larger. With my money the U.S. government will underwrite wars in foreign places for corporate greed dressed up to look like an affected interest in human rights. Our right to freedom of speech allows us to shout to the world the United States is "the greatest nation on earth" while our own go hungry, homeless, and die for lack of health insurance and medical care; American children go without decent educations, and little hope to afford a college degree.
courtesy of Mr. L. Biggs aka my gorgeous husband
Our children can only clutch at a vain hope in the "American Dream"; the dream sold to so many immigrants from all over the world who flood to this country for a slim chance to secure a myth. As if to underscore the absurd paradoxes of life in this country, Les and I were walking along the Pullman Albion Road last week when his eagle eye spotted a greenback in the grassy weeds along the roadside. Quickly Dear Sir bent down and plucked the bill from the weeds, his eyes gleaming with excitement. It turned out to be a million dollar bill--printed for entertainment purposes. "Well there you go love," I said sardonically. "The American dream implies our streets are paved with money--no one ever comes out and tells you it's funny money." Tuesday afternoon when Les came to pick me up from work he was particularly buoyant. We walked to the car hand in hand and Les kissed me tenderly as he said, "Let me get the car door for you Mrs. Biggs." I slid into the front passenger seat as Dear Sir opened the back door, reached inside and pulled out a dozen exquisite red roses and handed them to me with a card that read, "I love youXXX.Thank you for sorting the visa folders."
For the second time that day tears slipped down my cheeks. I have received flowers from a man exactly three times in my entire life: the first time was the day before my fifty second birthday and the man was my new British friend "Dear Sir."
The second was in March and they were from my fiance Les; this time my husband Mr. Biggs, surprised me with flowers so beautiful they took my breath away!
Wednesday, June 20th dawned hot and clear. We stopped at Dissmores as usual on the way to work and ordered our lattes: a double shot caramel machiatto for Les, and a double shot Irish Cream latte for me. The young women behind the counter know us well. They have followed my love story from its beginning and they are quite fond of The Brilliant Englishman. We chatted briefly filling Lisa and Ashlee in on where we were with the Visa application as they wished us well. We sipped our hot drinks quietly as Les drove me up to campus, both of us tired from weeks of late nights sorting paperwork. We kissed good bye tenderly three times as is my wont because one kiss will not fortify me until we see each other again--I need three in order to leave a man like Dear Sir behind and trudge off to my office. After lunch I decided on a whim to check my email and see if there was anything from the UK Border Agency about receipt of our package.Logging into Gmail I saw "NEYOZVisa Information." Clicking quickly, the email opened and the following message appeared:
Dear Applicant
Your UK visa application has arrived safely at the UK Border Agency, New York and is currently being processed. Priority Service: Your application will be processed ahead of other visa applications. Under normal circumstances, non-settlement priority service applications will be processed within 48 hours. Settlement priority applications will be processed within 15 days (not including weekends or public holidays) from day of receipt at UK Border Agency visa section in USA. Please note, as indicated in the terms of service, the amount paid for the priority service, as well as visa fees, is not refundable if the visa application is refused or, in exceptional cases, takes longer than 48 hours / 15 days to process the application. You will receive further e-mails advising you of - 1. When your application reaches the next stage of the process; review by an Entry Clearance Officer, and 2. The outcome of your application. This e-mail will also provide you with details of your return package. We are unable to respond to status enquiries. Further information on UK visa services is available at www.visainfoservices.com
Regards UK Border Agency, New York
I heaved a sigh of relief. It arrived! The consulate had my visa application and we must have done something right because they were actually going to process it as a priority! I was grateful I found the ExPat Forum and took the advice offered for Americans seeking a spouse settlement visa to the UK about organizing all data into tabbed notebooks. I was thankful Dear Sir suggested we go a step further and create two identical binders--one labeled "original" and one labeled "copies." It was my turn to be buoyant when Les came to pick me up from work. As we drive off campus he said thoughtfully, "I just have a feeling we will have a decision from the Border Agency this week." I raised my sarcastic left eyebrow which speaks silently, "Yeah right!" "I just have this feeling Jaq; maybe living with a witch is rubbing off on me. I don't know why but I feel it in my gut."
And with his own knowing smile Dear Sir headed home in the late afternoon sun, the car flying along a road bordered on both sides by seemingly endless wheat fields transforming from green to gold in the baking summer heat.
The view from our back deck
Later after dinner as I scooped ice cream into glasses for root beer floats I experienced deja vu--the realization washed over me that I had dreamt that very moment over six months ago: the evening sunset melting into gilded golds and hot pink fusing softly with evening purples across the sky as the landscape stood outlined in a dark silhouette; the frozen coolness of the ice cream carton, the scent of vanilla and cream, the fizz of root beer; the actual moment of feeling myself standing there in the kitchen at Cloudhouse, scoop in hand, my husband's left foot resting on his chair, his lovely brown eyes watching me with a smile from across the white counter.
I have always done this dreaming ahead of time about seemingly unimportant daily events. It is the Universe's way of checking in with meto say, "You are where you belong."
The family breadmaker
Thursday July 21st was the beginning of the end of a hectic week in which Les went fishing on the Snake River with our friend Joe Horton and his buddy Roger Johnson. A brilliant time was had by all in the 80 plus degree weather, as Roger was kind enough to give Les an experience he will not forget, described briefly on Les' blog, "Boats and Cruising: Valerie." I took great pleasure in baking a pan of angel Bars for the guys, and packing a lunch for my husband.
The countdown was on for our wedding reception planned Saturday, July 23rd--forty eight hours away.
"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: ...To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips." ~Khalil Gibran
early summer on the Palouse
The first week after our wedding went by in a blur. Suddenly the the weather turned over and it was in the mid 80's and 90's here. Of course the air conditioner in both my car and the house decided to crap out at the same time! Four hundred and fifty dollars later both house and car were cool again.
When Les was here last February we discussed his driving when we returned for our wedding. I couldn't bear to think of him cooped up throughout the long, hot summer, but he wasn't certain he wanted to drive unless the road lines were better marked.
Upon our return in June Les was pleasantly surprised to see freshly painted road lines everywhere. I knew WSU and the City of Pullman would paint them fresh each spring in time for May commencement, but I told Les, "Just for you baby; I had them freshly painted just for you!"
Dear Sir has been keeping the car and chauffering me to work and back each day. My first Monday back at work he showed up an hour early to get me, saying, "I forgot what time you told me to come get you and I miss you." What a great way to be greeted by one's husband!!
We've frequented Ferdinand's Scoop Shop on campus for superb ice cream, visited the bears (orphaned grizzlies are brought to WSU's animal Science program where they are studied for metabolism research) and Les finally
got to see them close up and personal when four large grizzlies came charging down the hill of their huge outside pen and attempted to tear the steel doors off the inside of their cages to get at food. I am pretty sure the scent of our ice cream cones set them off.
Dear Sir has been working on the house, fixing things up, tidying up the garden beds, weeding, pruning, pressure washing the vinyl siding and painting the back deck and front porch. We've also been sorting, packing, and throwing things away--all to get the house readied for sale and me ready to move.
Our wedding reception moved from July 9th to July 23rd to accommodate our hosts chrisi and Keith Kincaid who had an unforeseen international issue crop up which required travel to the Ukraine for a couple of weeks.
With my new driver's license I am now official as Jaqueline Marie Biggs in this country, and was tickled pink to be addresed as "Mrs. Biggs" by the DOL attendant.
Les was fascinated by the vision testing machine at the Department of Licensing. We spent an extra fifteen minutes chatting with the attendants about the differences between licensing of drivers in the U.S. and England.
American drivers' licenses expire every five years and one must go in and take a vision test and renew all personal information with an updated picture in order for one's driver's license to stay current. Any change in the meantime, such as a name change or an address change means a new vision test and issuance of an updated license. In America our licenses serve our national picture identification. We have Social Security cards and numbers issued specifically to us but they may not be used for I.D. except to get one's initial license.
Here in the States the age a person may first apply for a learner's permit differs from state to state like thousands of other laws. In Washington State one can get a farm permit at age twelve to drive large farm rigs. Most kids get a learner's permit at age fourteen which enables them to drive with a licensed driver in the car with them. One may apply for the final exam at age sixteen and become a fully licensed driver as long as one has had a learner's permit for six months.
Cornwall, England UK
I've had great fun regaling my American friends with tales of the lane and a quarter sized narrow roads in England, the lack of parking, and the game of chicken played with oncoming traffic. Descriptions of large roundabouts with mounded hills in the middle blocking one's view of the other lanes give U.S. driver's pause for thought. Now that I know vision tests are not mandatory in the U.K. I will have to wear a DEPENDS adult diaper when traveling by car!
Les keeps wishing for lines on road telling him when to stop, when to yield, etc.etc. We have signs for those actions because lines on the roadway are obscured in winter weather six months of the year.
European traffic light
He also pines for traffic lights on posts beside the lanes instead of hanging above his head in front of the lanes. Nonetheless Dear Sir drives quite well in our country.
American traffic lights
I wake up every morning now with a smile, literally! For the first time in my life I don't open my eyes and tense up, waiting to find out what ninety mile an hour curve balls life is going to throw my way today.
I am loved, appreciated, and deeply contented to be part of a very good partnership. We finish each other's sentences and blurt out the same ideas in unison.
Our thoughts are often in sync without either of us saying anything initially to the other. We work together side by side to keep house, make plans, and we thoroughly enjoy one another's company. We love one another deeply. Folks smile at us in passing as we walk hand in hand, and others get a merry glint in their eyes when they spot us kissing.
My friends--so used to me being 'the woman who walked alone through this world with a juandiced eye toward men'--now smile indulgently at me and call out with a lilt in their voice, "Hello Mrs. Biggs!" It is obvious I am happier than I've ever been in my life, married to my brilliant Englishman. And why is he so brilliant? Because he loves me!
This is just a brief post to let folks know that we are busy working on the spouse visa application right now so there will be no new blog posts until we have cleared this initial process. The breakfast bar looks like someone is in the midst of putting together a major grant--there are piles of documents and papers with copies for each section and requirement. My previous experience as a grant writer is coming in handy!
I get up each morning at 5:50 AM, go for a one mile walk and do fifteen minutes on the exercise bike to make a stab at something physical.
After putting in a full day at work in front of a computer it is all I can do to spend two hours each evening on this intricate paperwork before my mind shuts down completely. Les makes copies during the day at Kinko's copy center and takes care of the domestic side of things: laundry, dishes, hoovering; in addition he's cleaned and painted the back deck and front porch, washed the windows, re-papered and painted the master bath and pressure washed the vinyl siding on the house to make it look like new, and bought a strimmer (weed whacker for Americans) to bring the back forty under control.
I broke down and cried at dinner last night when Les suggested he should go out and put the patio umbrella down because a large windstorm was coming. All my life I've had to do it all myself. I thought when I moved to Cloudhoue in 2007 that life would get easier--but cancer intervened, and fighting for my life took everything I had physically, emotionally, and financially. Life didn't get easier; I was worn out and could only focus on those most essential things in life.
I am so grateful to have the love and loving care of a man who understands the true meaning of a loving partnership. Les put his arms around me, held me tucked in close to his chest and his heart, and said, "It's okay Jaq--you aren't going to live the rest of your life alone. Fifty-fifty, that's the deal. We will look after each other and you don't have to do it all yourself anymore darling..." the rest of what took place will remain unwritten. Suffice to say it was enough to get him sent to the naughty step, and he made me laugh until I cried for joy.
"I give my hand to you with all my heart. I can't wait to live my life with you; I can't wait to start..." Shania Twain
Friday, June 17th 2011 Friday dawned partly sunny and warm. Les and I rose at 6 am and drove to Kamiak, hiking the Butte in the early dawn light to find the right place for our ceremony. We planned to do this on Wednesday but Les had fallen ill and it rained all week! I left my cares with the Goddess knowing that the days beforehand and the ritual of our wedding would unfold as She saw fit. We marked the spot by creating a circle out of fallen wood and tree branches, with a natural portal in the East between two small trees, for people to enter the circle. We hiked back down and headed for breakfast. People were starting to roll into town for our nuptials. Sparky and her room mate Mary arrived from Portland, Oregon the afternoon before and commenced to bleach and then tint Mary's hair a lovely deep blue. Mary looked hot! Jesse, Ben, Michael, Matthew and Connor arrived Friday morning. I started preparing the rehearsal dinner with Jesse's help and then we all drove to Moscow, Idaho toSwan Family Ink for a piercing and tattoos!
I've always wanted my nose pierced to wear a tiny diamond chip. I decided my wedding was the appropriate event to mark with a piercing and it was done before I could change my mind! It is somewhat of a shock to one's mind when one realizes a needle has just pierced one's flesh.
Some might ask why I would choose to have something painful done to mark such a joyous occasion. The pain passes quickly and endorphins kick in. It is a ritual for me that mirrors the courage it took to make the trek through the painful parts of life to arrive at a moment of divine joy such as my wedding day to my soul mate. This piercing reminds me of the journey and the destination.
The needle was quickly and expertly withdrawn and replaced with a small sparkling chip on a pigtail stud which corkscrews into the piercing, holding it in place.
Jesse, Sparky, and me all agreed upon the same tattoo to mark the fact that we all were born in Alaska, and we are related to one another; we chose to have them located on different parts of our bodies as a recognition that our lives are diverging in wildly different directions. Spark asked me to choose the image. I settled on a cluster of forget-me-nots--the Alaska State flower.
Mine was placed on my chest across my cleavage; Jesse's was placed across the top of her foot, and Sparky had hers tattooed across her upper back. Mary joined the club and got her first tattoo on her left bicep! Les and I got back home first and I resumed prepping food for the evening's dinner. People were rolling in now, from far and near.
Adelina Gonzales
Adelina Gonzales
My dear friend from my University days arrived with flowers and hugs. Adelina and I met at Eastern Washington University in 1990. Both of us were single parents and full time students. Our friendship grew quickly as we became involved in University activities and campus politics, living next door to one another in campus family housing. I was hired as the H.O.M.E. (Helping Ourselves Means Education) Program Coordinator--a program which evolved from representing a small handful of low income single parent women on campus, to representing 56.5% of the student body--all of whom were older returning, non-traditional students--most with families of one sort or another, and whose needs as students were not being met by the University community due to ignorance of their issues. Adelina ran for student body president and I helped with her campaign. She was elected as the first woman, first single parent, and first Chicano student in the school's 110 year history. Up to that point the student body government had been comprised solely of young, traditional sorority and fraternity students--who happened to be a minority on the EWU campus--yet they controlled a $125,000 budget and made decisions regarding expenditures which usually benefited their small clique instead of the majority student body. We were known across campus by those whose rule we opposed as the tiny trouble twins! Our friendship continued to grow over the years as Adelina began working as a union labor organizer, eventually settling in with SEIU--Service Employees International Union, bargaining for the rights of hospital and medical workers.
Meanwhile and I finished up two years as a Federal VISTA volunteer (Volunteers In Service to America) working at the most poverty stricken elementary school in Spokane where I created the state's first neighborhood/school site council, a before and after school on site day care program, and an after school enrichment program overseen by EWU education students who fulfilled their practicum requirements by working in my program. After my two years of service I went to work for Spokane Public Radio.
In 1991 Adelina and I were introduced to the Re-Formed Congregation of the Goddess located in Madison, Wisconsin. We enrolled in CELLA--a Thealogical training program for women witches, expanding our knowledge and experience of The Goddess and the Craft. We became part of the CELLA PNW circle and met with a core of other women from California, Oregon, Washington, Montana, and British Columbia throughout each year for six years to grow as witches and learn to serve our communities as Priestesses of the Goddess.
Adelina continually encourages and supports me in my personal growth. I am grateful she reached out to me at University and continues to be a loving and supportive force to be reckoned with in my life.
Bill Marlow and Sara Edlin-Marlowe
The next folks to arrive were Bill Marlowe and his wife Sara Edlin-Marlowe. Sara was employed at Spokane Public Radio as the Morning Edition host when I began working there in 1995. We bonded tightly over the course of five years, watching each other's backs, supporting one another at work and in our personal lives.
Sara Edlin-Marlowe
Sara practiced a form of Buddhism for many years and is now allied strongly with the Unitarian Universalist church. She teaches Tai-Chi, and uses her immense experience in radio and her MFA in Theatre with an emphasis on directing to coach newly hired television newscasters on diction and on-air presence; she also directs theater for the local community, and teaches drama as an adjunct professor at Spokane Falls Community College (SFCC). She writes and acts in one woman plays about the lives of Georgia O'Keefe, Sacagawea, and other notable women. Sara travels thither and yon across Washington and Idaho to perform her plays with underwriting from the WA and ID Humanities Commission. In her salad days Sara was a struggling New York actor who scored a part in the movie The Godfather and knew young Bobby De Niro before he encountered fame and fortune.
Bill Marlowe
Bill Marlowe is the Chair of the Drama Department at SFCC. He has directed one of the premier community theaters in the U.S. and across the nation extensively, acted in many high profile productions and worked as an equity Stage Manager on the New York stage. Bill also appeared in a movie with Antonio Banderas, LL Cool J and Sam Elliott. Between them, Bill and Sara have many decades of experience and fabulous stories about it all. They worked with Haley Joel Osmond and his parents before Haley was a star--they know and have worked with many fine stage and movie actors over the years--both American and British. Bill's direction of the Spartan Student Theatre at SFCC is legendary. His students produce some the best acted Shakespearean dramas in the Inland Northwest. Married over twenty five years, Sara and Bill are wild, imaginative, witty and wonderful people who have folded me into their lives and hearts for which I am deeply thankful.
Karen Barron
Karen Barron
My most recent friendship to take root was with Karen. We met at Hospice Volunteer Training back in September 2009 and bonded quickly. Her husband Jim is retired from WSU and they are road gypsies much of the year. Karen is a wonderful friend--smart, loyal, fierce in her convictions with an East Coast brusqueness that overlies a huge, warm heart and fabulous sense of humor. She is unusually gifted at seeing the whimsy in art and makes some wonderful pop art pieces of her own out of pottery. She introduced me to Kamiak Butte and trekking poles. Karen is a planner extraordinaire who prodded me throughout the months leading up to the wedding. Without her input we would not have had the ceremony we did.
Reverend Patti and Steve McRaven
Patti & Steve
Patti and Steve's storyappeared previously in this blog. Patti is empowered by the State to make our Wiccan hand fasting a legally recognized and binding wedding ceremony. Her husband Steve was walking me up the trail and handing me over to Dear Sir. Richly blessed by such friends as these, their threads embroider the tapestry of my life and make it shine with love.
The Rehearsal The cast assembled, we caravaned in a body out to Kamiak Butte at 5:30 PM and proceeded to hike up the Pine Ridge trail to the top of the ridge. Most of these folks had never been up there; we had people ranging in age from mid 60's to age 5 months all wandering up Kamiak's pathways in the late afternoon sunshine. The trees created a cathedral effect and the evening air was scented with resinous pine and wild roses. We took our time and gathered at the top--most of us out of breath except for Les, and Michael and Mathew who ran up and down the path four times! Dear Sir was probably in the best shape of all of us! It took us about twenty seven minutes to climb to the ridge which I thought was brilliant given many of us had physical challenges to overcome. With scripts in hand we went through the ceremony with Bill Marlowe invoking the God in the character of a Southern Baptist preacher that had us all in stitches. Patti concluded with,"By the powers vested in me by the State of Washington I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." This was the first time Les had heard any of the service which I put together. Unknown to him, there were a few things left out of the rehearsal that would appear in the actual ritual in order to provide spontaneity and emotion. A few official words would be changed at the very end thanks to Cheri Curtis who couldn't be there in person but would be there in spirit through the final changes which were her suggestion. I spent a long time thinking about Val over the past months. Les was deeply honest with me about their relationship in the things he chose to share with me. I wanted to be sure to include her in our ceremony because I know Dear Sir is a man I can trust and love due in large part to her love and influence on him. I also strongly believe that her soul brought Les and me together; that Val continues to look out for him and that I am blessed to be a part of her love for Les--as she is a part of my love for him. The remembrance was not mentioned at all in the rehearsal; I would include it in tomorrow's wedding ceremony. Soon enough our merry band wended its way back down Kamiak Butte and we caravaned back to our home for a Mexican dinner of Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas, Green Chile Burritos, rice, salsa, guacamole, chips, Cadillac Margaritas, Coronas with a slice of lime, and Chocolate cream pie! After eating leisurely in the lengthening rays of late evening sun I handed out baskets with items representing each element of the five sacred things to the people who were invoking them in the ritual. I gathered my things and slipped away to my friend Sandy Field's house. Les would sleep alone tonight--his last as a bachelor. I would spend it with Adelina and Sandy.
Saturday, June 18th, 2011 I awoke to a pearly grey sky threatening rain at some point in the day. Kamiak Butte rose majestically out of the clouds and sat over the skyline outside Sandy's kitchen window! I knew as Sandy prepared a fabulous breakfast for us that people were beginning to head out for the Butte and gather at our ritual place. Adelina left early to meet Sparky, Les, Jesse, Ben, Michael, Karen, Sara, Bill, and Patti. As principle players they were meeting up on Kamiak at 10 am to smudge each other with sage, be anointed with rosemary oil for remembrance, and to begin anchoring the energy of the circle. I showered, put on my gown and dressed my hair and face, dusting my cheeks, brow bones and collar bones with a bit of sparkling fairy dust. Dear Sir was waiting for me now on the ridge. It was windy in the parking lot of Kamiak Park and the air was laden with moisture--a fairly rare occurrence in June here where the Palouse reaches out to meet the high deserts of Eastern Washington.
My friends Sally and Joe Horton had gone on up to the circle. Chrisi and Keith Kincaid, Sandy Field, and Steve McRaven were waiting for me. I took Steve's arm and we set off. On the way we passed several hikers who took one look at me, figured out a wedding was happening somewhere at Kamiak and wished me and Steve well! As we walked along I thanked Steve for walking me up the path and handing me over to Les. "You and Les are cut from the same cloth--you remind me very much of
one another. You are both good men--kind, loving, gentle. I am so happy you agreed to do this for me." Tears welled up in my eyes as Steve thanked me for the opportunity to participate and gave me a kiss and hug, telling me he was honored to walk me up and participate in our wedding. We arrived at the ridge top with the rain holding off, the world a magical place cloaked in a fragile mist. Chrisi, Keith, and Sandy went on ahead to be smudged, anointed, and enter the circle. Suddenly it was time and we began walking Eastward towards the gathering hidden just off the path, beyond the first group of trees and an old, gnarled, fallen tree trunk.
A word between two very fine men
Les spotted us coming through the trees and didn't take his eyes off me. Dear Sir looked gorgeous in his fitted black jeans, black leather vest laced up the sides, and white dress shirt with silver cuff links. A white rose with rosemary and lavender graced his vest.
Adelina smudged Steve first, then turned to me saying, "May you have joy in your lives and love in your hearts forever Jaq. You are a priestess of the Goddess and She is within you." Sparky anointed my forehead with oil, giving me a daughter's blessing from deep in her heart.
I entered the circle and began to walk sun wise stopping to hug and kiss each person there to witness our wedding; South, West, North, and East again to turn toward Center where Les, Patti, and Steve waited for me at the altar.
CREATING SACRED SPACE
Sparky casting the circle
Walking the perimeter sun wise and stopping at each direction Sparky cast the circle: "By the air which is Her breath, By the fire of Her bright Spirit, By the waters of Her living womb, By the earth which is Her body, By that which is above and that which is below, This circle is cast and we are between the worlds. And what is between the worlds can change the world. So mote it be."
INVOCATION OF THE FIVE SACRED THINGS East-"I am East, the symbol of air. Know and remember that this is the element of life, of intelligence, and the inspiration that moves us onward. I bring to your wedding the power of mind."
South-"I am South, the symbol of fire. Know and remember that this is the element of passion, light, and energy; of the vigor which runs through our veins. I bring to your wedding the power of will."
West-"I am West, the symbol of water. Know and remember that this is the power of love, of growth, of the fruitfulness of the earth. I bring to your wedding the power of desire."
North-"I am North, the symbol of earth. Know and remember that this is the element of law, of endurance, of the understanding which cannot be shaken. I bring to your wedding the power of steadfastness."
Center-"I am center, the cauldron of life, death, and rebirth, and the well of the ancestors. Know and remember that this the power of regeneration and eternity, and I bring to your wedding the blessing of all those that have gone before you."
INVOCATION OF THE GODDESS "I who am the beauty of the green earth
And the white moon among the stars
And the mysteries of the waters
I call upon your soul to arise
And come unto Me.
For I am the soul of Nature
That gives life to the universe.
From Me all things proceed
And unto Me they must return.
Let my worship be in the heart that rejoices
For behold—all acts of love
And pleasure are my rituals. Let there be beauty and strength,
Power and compassion,
Honor and humility,
Mirth and reverence
Within you.
And you who seek
To know Me, know that
Your seeking and yearning
Will avail you not
Unless you know The Mystery:
For if that which you seek
You find not within yourself,
You will never find it without.
For behold, I have been with you
From the beginning,
And I am that
Which is attained
At the end of desire.
Blessed Be!" INVOCATION OF THE GOD "Lord of the colors of Day,
Untamed Awakener of Hearts,
Morning’s Son, Vine ripened Seed,
Heart’s ease and Sorrow’s end;
Sun Child, Seed Sower , Grain reborn;
Many jeweled One, Winter born King,
Wheat sheaf, Green Man, Lord of the Hunt,
Sailor of the last sea, Guardian of the gate,
Horned God, Lord of the Dance--
COME! Be here now. Blessed be!"
GIVING OVER THE BRIDE Karen Barron: "Jaqueline is it true you come of your own free will and accord?" Jaqueline: "yes, it is true I do come of my own free will and accord." Karen Barron: "With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you?" Steve McRaven: "She comes with me, her brother, and is accompanied by all our blessings." Karen Barron: "Les, take Jaqueline's hand and listen..." Reverend Patti: "These two who are joined in love now have the desire to make their bond a matter of record, so that all the world and the society in which they live may witness it, and lend to them the support of their hearts and minds.
Like stones should your love be firm. Like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage; let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be independent of one another, and interdependent one to another. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Rejoice in laughter. Ever love, help, and respect each other and then know truly that you are one in the eyes of all assembled here today. Blessed Be."
WEDDING VOWS
Patti: "Do you, Les, take Jaqueline to be your wife,
to be her constant friend,
her partner in life, and her true love;
To love her without reservation,
honor and respect her,
protect her from harm,
comfort her in times of distress,
and to grow with her in mind and spirit?" Les: "I do."
Patti: "Do you, Jaqueline, take Les to be your husband,
To be his constant friend,
his partner in life, and his true love;
To love him without reservation,
honor and respect him,
protect him from harm,
comfort him in times of distress,
and to grow with him in mind and spirit?" Jaqueline: "I do."
Patti ties the hand fasting cords
HANDFASTING Patti: "Likewise, this cord is a symbol of the lives you have chosen to lead together. Up until this moment you have been separate in thought, word, and action. As these cords are tied together, your lives become intertwined. As the right hand is to the left hand, may you be forever one, sharing in all things, at home and abroad, in love and loyalty for all time to come."
EXCHANGE OF RINGS
Patti: "You cannot always be physically joined (Patti removes cord without untying it and lays it on the altar) therefore the exchange of rings is one of the deepest symbols of a marriage. It is a constant reminder, a shared touch between this man and this woman. The circle is a symbol of the eternal. To give a ring to someone you love is to say that your love has no beginning and no end.
This bond I draw between you: that though you are parted in mind or in body, there will be a call in the core of you, one to the other, that nothing and no one else will answer to. By the secrets of earth and water is this bond woven -- unbreakable, irrevocable; by the laws that created fire and wind this call is set in you, in life and beyond life."
(Michael Kiddoo comes forward with the rings tied in a silk scarf and gives them to Les)
Patti: "Les, as you slip the ring on Jaqueline’s finger, repeat after me:" Les: I, Leslie Charles Biggs, in the name of the spirit of love which resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart take thee Jaqueline Marie Almdale to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my lawfully wedded wife. To desire thee and be desired by thee; to possess thee, and be possessed by thee as a token of our love. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint; in sickness and in health; in plenty and in poverty; in this life and beyond where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.
Patti: "Jaqueline, as you slip the ring on Les’ finger, repeat after me:"
Jaqueline: I, Jaqueline Marie Almdale in the name of the spirit of love which resides within us alll, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart take thee Leslie Charles Biggs to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my lawfully wedded husband. To desire thee and be desired by thee; to possess thee, and be possessed by thee as a token of our love. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint; in sickness and in health; in plenty and in poverty; in this life and beyond where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.
COMMUNION
Sara: "As a symbol of Her presence do I offer this bread which represents the Goddess. From this day and through this union Les, shall you know the Goddess through Jaqueline." Jaqueline tears off a piece and feeds it to Les, saying:
"May you never hunger." Les tears off a piece and feeds it to Jaqueline, saying:
"May you never hunger."
Bill: "As a symbol of His presence do I offer this wine which represents the God. From this day and through this union Jaqueline, shall you know the God through Les." Les offers Jaqueline a sip, saying:
"May you never thirst." Jaqueline offers Les a sip, saying:
"May you never thirst."
REMEMBRANCE Jaqueline: "I raise our cup in remembrance to Valerie Biggs.
She kept your heart and soul whole and full;
Filled with love, and joy, and passion;
And you kept hers as well.
She taught you to love truly.
I am thankful to her with all my heart for looking out for you then—and now.
I rest assured in my belief that we three will be united someday,
For love never dies, and those who are remembered, live.
To Val."
PRONOUNCEMENT
Patti: "By the power vested in me by the State of Washington , I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. You may snog the witch! Blessed Be!"
DE-VOCATION
The God and Goddess, and each of the five sacred things are devoked in turn:
"Thank you for keeping company with us; go if you must and stay if you will-- hail and farewell!"
JUMPING THE BROOM
Karen: (the broom was laid down in the East to close the circle.)
“In the rituals of the once ways, from the Cymry (Kim-ree) in Wales, to the Romani whom we know of as Travelers, Tinkers, or Gypsies; to Africans brought to the Americas against their will, jumping the broom has been a ritual of love and marriage when formal, legal ceremonies were not allowed these subjugated peoples.
Jaqueline and Les choose to jump the broom today as a sign of respect for all those who went before them, and as a sign of respect for a Witch's second most important tool—a besom or broom. Jumping the broom signifies an end to the old lives lived separately and an acknowledgement of a new life begun together." (Les and Jaqueline move around the circle widdershins, and jump the broom together standing outside the circle.)
OPENING THE CIRCLE
Patti and all assembled:
"This circle is open but unbroken. May the peace of the Goddess go in our hearts. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again!"
Les and I stood outside the circle and greeted each witness with hugs and kisses. For some it was their first non-Christian ritual. Only three of us were Witches while two others were practicing Buddhists. Folks seemed genuinely touched by our vows and we were indeed blessed to have each person there to lend us their support, encouragement, friendship, and love.
We all walked leisurely back down to the car park and sallied forth to a wedding luncheon lovingly hosted and prepared by Karen and Jim Barron with help from Sally Horton, Chrisi Kincaid, and two students hired to assist.
We chose to serve Pimm's #1 as our wedding punch. Most of the assembled Americans had never had it and everyone loved it. (Thank you Lucy!) Toasts were made, deeply touching our hearts. I looked around and tears sprang to my eyes in gratitude for the friends I have gathered to me over the years who were able to participate in our Wiccan Wedding Ritual and for Patti's willingness to become legally ordained in order to make our marriage legally binding while still holding fast to my spiritual beliefs. I was thrilled beyond measure that my daughters, son-in-law, and grandchildren were there. I was moved in my soul to see how they accepted Dear Sir and folded Les into our family with love.
Jesse asked me later if I felt different now that I was Mrs. Jaqueline Biggs. "Yes. It feels like more."
"You mean you feel more complete now that you are married?"
"No--we were already complete and whole before we ever
met. I don't really know how to explain this feeling." Not for the first time since I had met Dear Sir, I found myself without the appropriate words. As Les and I lay in each other's arms in the velvet dark of our wedding night we talked about the day and all the things which unfolded. He helped me find my words:
The public acknowledgement of the depth of our love and desire for one another and the sharing of them with friends and family in attendance made our love bigger. Like all good things in life it became larger than the two of us; an unbroken circle within a circle of love spiraling out across the world...
Due to the prolonged spring rains which drowned the region from March through the first week in June, the Palouse is still awash in wildflowers and greenery as the wheat fades from green to amber. The Palouse put on its best summer dress this season for Dear Sir. 
Packing and clearing out commenced with the house growing emptier as each week passed. I am up to 22 boxes of "stuff" which was sent over to England via Mayflower Movers! Where we will put it all Goddess only knows. 
We had several offers for my house and each one fell through. The housing market in America is flat. Sadly I am walking away from my equity and turning it back to the sisters who held the note for me. They will do with it as they choose. 
We loaded up the cooler with homemade friend chicken, potato salad, melon chunks, radishes, crispy strips of red, yellow and green bell peppers, raw cauliflower and broccoli florets, peeled rounds of cucumber, Ranch dip, soda pop, juice packs, bags of beef jerky and headed out to Laird Park for a day of swimming at the park.
The Civilian Conservation Corps dammed the Palouse River in 1933 to create a small lagoon amongst the giant pines of the Clearwater National Forest. 
I thought I would grow old and die alone in Cloudhouse; I thought my grandsons would always come to stay with me here and we would bake round, brown loaves of bread together, and pans of macaroni and cheese; visit the Moscow Farmer's Market, walk down and see the neighbor's cows and goats, lay in the dark on my down comforter spread across the grassy yard watching for meteors and satellites; I thought we would make snow ice cream, watch movies, eat poached eggs on toast and drink cups of tea, and feed the ducks at Sunnyside Park while their childhoods passed.
